he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
