Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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