It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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