So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize