Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
