I can text with my tongue
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize