All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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