11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
