dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
