White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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