We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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