you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
