Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You work out of a Hotel?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
