Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
