I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It was confusing and full of hummus
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We need to get me chipped asap
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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