fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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