He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
