We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Randomize