She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
