My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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