HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
