Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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