I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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