"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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