I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
