Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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