That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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