Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
