why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Green mimosas i think yes
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
