Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
