Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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