I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize