first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
my liver is dry heaving
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
