he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize