you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
