i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
