also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
