He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
