Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
