I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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