So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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