i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
