My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
