ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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