ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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