Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
