stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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