Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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