its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
