I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
vagina is talking i cant
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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