And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
