Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
