Small penises have feelings too.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize