i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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