this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
