vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
