My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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