I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
